vendredi 1 novembre 2013

10 Habits to Quit

10 HABITS YOU MUST QUIT TO BE HAPPY

10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy
When you quit doing the wrong things, you make more room for the things that make you happy.  So starting today…

1.  Quit procrastinating on your goals.

Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it.  Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most.  Get a hold of yourself and have discipline.  Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.  What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.
The secret to getting ahead is simply getting started.  Starting, all by itself, is usually sufficient to build enough momentum to keep the ball rolling.  So forget about the finish line and just concentrate on taking your first step.  Say to yourself, “I choose to start this task with a small, imperfect step.”  All those small steps will add up and you’ll actually get to see changes fairly quickly.  ReadGetting Things Done.

2.  Quit blaming others and making excuses.

Stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility and perpetuate the problem.  Stop giving your power away andstart taking responsibility for your life.  Blaming is just another sorry excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards failure; you and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions.

3.  Quit trying to avoid change.

If nothing ever changed there would be no sunrise the next morning.  Most of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us.  Learning to accept this is vital to our happiness and general success.  Because only when we change, do we grow, and begin to see a world we never knew was possible.
And don’t forget, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So embrace it, and realize that change happens for a reason.  It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

4.  Quit trying to control the uncontrollable.

If you try to control everything, and then worry about the things you can’t control, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and misery.
Some forces are out of your control, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.  The best thing you can do is to let go of what you can’t control, and invest your energy in the things you can – like your attitude.

5.  Quit talking down to yourself.

Nothing will bring you down quicker than berating yourself.  The mind is a superb instrument if used right, but when used incorrectly, it becomes very destructive.  Be aware of your mental self-talk.  We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.
As Henry Ford once stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”  One of the major causes of why we fail is due to self-doubt and negative self-talk.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones, over time you will change the trajectory of your life.  Read The How of Happiness.

6.  Quit criticizing others.

The negativity you bleed out toward others will gradually cripple your own happiness.  When you truly feel comfortable with your own imperfections, you won’t feel threatened or offended by the imperfections you see in other people.
So stop worrying about the flaws you see in everyone else, and focus on yourself.  Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.

7.  Quit running from your problems and fears.

Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back.  Tackle your problems and fears swiftly, don’t run away from them.  The best solution is to face them head on no matter how powerful they may seem.
Fears, in particularly, stop you from taking chances and making decisions.  They keep you confined to just the small space where you feel completely comfortable.  But your life’s story is simply the culmination of many small, unique experiences, many of which require you to stretch your comfort zone.  Letting your fears and worries control you is not ‘living,’ it’s merely existing.
Bottom line:  Either you own your problems and fears, or they will ultimately own you.

8.  Quit living in another time and place.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to live in another time and place.  They lament about what has been, what they could have done, or what might become.  However, the past is gone, and the future doesn’t exist.  No matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about either, it doesn’t change anything.
One of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to what we’re doing right now, today.
We need to live more in the moment.  Living in the moment requires active, open, intentional awareness on the present.  Don’t fantasize about being on vacation while at work, and don’t worry about the work piling up on your desk when you’re on vacation.  Live for now.  Notice the beauty unfolding around you.

9.  Quit trying to be someone you’re not.

One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.  The Road Less Traveled.

10.  Quit being ungrateful.

Not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realize they do, perfectly.  So thank the things that didn’t work out, because they just made room for the things that will.  And thank the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t.
No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

jeudi 31 octobre 2013

Cesser d'attendre

«Cessez d'attendre, n'en faites plus un état d'esprit. Lorsque vous vous surprenez à glisser vers cet état d'esprit, secouez-vous. Revenez au moment présent. Contentez-vous d'être et dégustez ce fait d'être. Si vous êtes présent, vous n'avez jamais besoin d'attendre quoi que ce soit.»

– Eckhart Tolle,

Veille d'intervention


Avant-veille d'intervention




Fiesta chez ma cousine Marie avec mes parents et Daniel.

lundi 28 octobre 2013

Inside of themselves , that where it is


 


A Sioux Story

The Creator gathered all of Creation and said, "I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality."
The eagle said, "Give it to me, I will take it to the moon."
The Creator said, "No. One day they will go there and find it."
The salmon said, "I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean."
"No. They will go there too."
The buffalo said, "I will bury it on the Great Plains."
The Creator said, "They will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it even there."
Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said, "Put it inside of them."
And the Creator said, "It is done."


Author Unknown

Personne ne s'en sort seul

 


 
"Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone."  



Maya Angelou   
(b.1928)
  American author and poet

De belles idées positives

http://youtu.be/1X1c_2lUGnA

Encore très fatiguée après l'intervention mais rentrée " à la maison"

vendredi 18 octobre 2013

Aller à la rencontre de son désir

"Remember: Move TOWARD what you want... rather than away from what you don't want. Never push against the current reality. Just go beyond it into the existing realm of your Heart's desire." 
~Michael Alperstein



Souvenez-vous : Allez vers ce que vous voulez plutôt que de lutter contre ce que vous ne voulez pas . Ne repoussez pas la réalité, dépassez là et allez  vers ce que désire votre coeur ...
M. Alperstein 

jeudi 17 octobre 2013

Il est un homme et il est un endroit ....

Au Manoir ce week-end, Anne et René 


Il est un homme au bout du monde .
Un homme pour lequel j'irais aussi loin qu'il me faut aller pour le voir, loin loin vers l'Ouest, en apparence,  vers une fin  de terre appelée Finistère , un bout du monde fleuri en permanence dans mes souvenirs  que ce soit de genêts vibrants ou d'hortensias fanés,  plus loin que le Loc- Ronan, en bas des Mont d'Arrée, tout près d'une ville évanouie dans  une baie sacrée . Et tant qu'il sera là-bas,  dernier Maître des lieux de grève, quand j'arriverai j'aurai le coeur battant la cadence du bonheur retrouvé. Un coeur qui ne demande rien d'autre que ce qui est donné : des mots fléchés, des pommes de terre aux deux extrémités coupées pour que le sel puisse les pénétrer , de la graisse salée,  des crêpes forcément et de la soupe à midi pile si possible, tout ça pimenté de mots d'humour et d'amour , de sourires croisés , d'yeux plissés .  Mon Dieu que je suis bien dans ce Lanvillau de bonheur à voir vivre cet homme souvent seul avec son chien . Depuis que sa femme est parti  après 53 ans lui préparer d'avance une couche céleste . Je préfère pour ma part le garder de ce côté tant qu'avec sa fille je peux continuer à apprendre de lui . Je ne fais guère que sourire quand je le vois . Il est des états où la joie n'a plus de mots pour se dire . Est-ce parce qu'il se prénomme René qu'il a cette faculté de vous faire re-naître? Quelle chance j'ai de le connaître. 

La Balance


l'Energie de la  Balance   
                            
Pleine Lune le samedi 19 Octobre à 01 h 39
Note-clé : Je choisis la voie qui mène entre les deux grandes lignes de Force
 Energie de : - l'Intelligence active - Philosophie           
              



Constellation de la Balance 2013
     Instaurer l'équilibre, accorder la partie gauche et le côté droit, le yin et le yang, la matière et l'Esprit, telle est l'œuvre majeure à accomplir avec l'apport des énergies de la Balance.
    La Nature dote l'individu de passion, qui est sa force motrice. Ces passions, il devra apprendre à les équilibrer au cours de son incarnation dans la matière. C'est une question d'orientation : si la passion est dirigée vers les degrés les plus subtils de son existence, l'individu se libère des aspects bruts et emprisonnant de la Nature. Les sages sont ceux qui vouent une passion ardente pour l'esprit.

    Les hommes de religion voient souvent la passion comme un vice. C'est vrai lorsqu'elle concerne les aspects indésirables de Nature. C'est cependant une vertu, quand elle est appliquée à des aspects souhaitables et divins. La passion pour les choses nobles rend noble, comme celle pour les choses ignobles rend ignoble. La passion pour la peinture fait de nous un artiste, la passion pour le son, un musicien, un sculpteur, un poète, un philosophe, ou un sage. Avec enthousiasme, rien n'est impossible à accomplir.
     Les Grecs étaient passionnés de sagesse et ils ont donné naissance à de grands philosophes. Les voyants Himalayens, passionnés de découvrir les secrets de la mort, vont guider d'autres vers une transcendance. Les Romains avaient la passion pour la civilisation, ils ont construit des villes, des voies d'eau, des routes. Selon notre capacité à utiliser cette faculté, et à l'équilibrer, on peut se compliquer la vie ou s'élever soi-même.
     Observez l’activité humaine. L’homme creuse le sol, les collines et le fond des mers pour y trouver métaux et hydrocarbures, il court derrière les armes, l’argent, le pouvoir et les plaisirs sensuels. La nature est abasourdie par l’insatiabilité de l’homme, dans le sens où son enfant devient un monstre, tandis qu’elle espérait qu'il soit un Maître accompli.
     Les maladies incurables que nous avons aujourd’hui sur la planète, sont en partie dues à ce conditionnement émotionnel excessif et donc cette rupture d'équilibre. On attend des jeunes générations qu’ils deviennent des citoyens responsables qui dirigeront les nations demain. C’est une crise, car la jeunesse est devenue libre à l’excès. Alors que la vraie liberté consiste en notre capacité à diriger notre mental et nos sens. Cela est la maîtrise.
     Nous, humains, nos inconsistances sont étonnantes. Nous fluctuons d’un état à l’autre dans nos pensées, nos désirs et nos émotions. Devrions-nous leur résister pour être stables ? Devrions-nous nous accorder aux fluctuations ? L’acceptation permet d'aller vers la stabilité intérieure.
  (  Renée et André - Le Sentier )

A quoi tient la vie


mercredi 9 octobre 2013

Ou alors vous avez deux vaches .....

Supposons 2 vaches...    
SOCIALISMEVous avez 2 vaches.
Vos voisins vous aident à vous en occuper et vous vous partagez le lait.
COMMUNISMEVous avez 2 vaches.
Le gouvernement vous prend les 2 et vous fournit en lait.
FASCISMEVous avez 2 vaches.
Le gouvernement vous prend les 2 et vous vend le lait.
NAZISMEVous avez 2 vaches.
Le gouvernement vous prend la vache blonde et abat la brune.
DICTATUREVous avez 2 vaches. Les miliciens les confisquent et vous fusillent.
FEODALISMEVous avez 2 vaches. Le seigneur s'arroge la moitié du lait.
DEMOCRATIEVous avez 2 vaches. Un vote décide à qui appartient le lait.
DEMOCRATIE REPRESENTATIVEVous avez 2 vaches.
Une élection désigne celui qui décidera à qui appartient le lait.
DEMOCRATIE
DE SINGAPOUR
Vous avez 2 vaches.
Vous écopez d'une amende pour détention de bétail en appartement.
ANARCHIEVous avez 2 vaches. Vous les laissez se traire en autogestion.
CAPITALISMEVous avez 2 vaches. Vous en vendez une, et vous achetez un taureau pour faire des petits.
CAPITALISME
DE HONG KONG
Vous avez 2 vaches.
Vous en vendez trois à votre société côtée en bourse en utilisant des lettres de créance ouvertes par votre beau-frère auprès de votre banque.
Puis vous faites un "échange de dettes contre participation", assorti d'une offre publique, et vous récupérez quatre vaches dans l'opération tout en bénéficiant d'un abattement fiscal pour entretien de cinq vaches.
Les droits sur le lait de six vaches sont alors transférés par un intermédiaire panaméen sur le compte d'une société des îles Caïman, détenue clandestinement par un actionnaire qui revend à votre société côtée les droits sur le lait de sept vaches.
Au rapport de ladite société figurent huit ruminants, avec option d'achat sur une bête supplémentaire.
Entre temps vous abattez les 2 vaches parce que leur horoscope est défavorable.
CAPITALISME
SAUVAGE
Vous avez 2 vaches.
Vous équarrissez l'une, vous forcez l'autre à produire autant que quatre, et vous licenciez finalement l'ouvrier qui s'en occupait en l'accusant d'avoir laissé la vache mourir d'épuisement.
BUREAUCRATIEVous avez 2 vaches.
Le gouvernement publie des règles d'hygiène qui vous invitent à en abattre une.
Après quoi il vous fait déclarer la quantité de lait que vous avez pu traire de l'autre, il vous achète le lait et il le jette.
Enfin il vous fait remplir des formulaires pour déclarer la vache manquante.
ECOLOGIEVous avez 2 vaches.
Vous gardez le lait et le gouvernement vous achète la bouse.
FEMINISMEVous avez 2 vaches.
Le gouvernement vous inflige une amende pour discrimination.
Vous changez une de vos vaches pour un taureau que vous trayez aussi.
SURREALISME :Vous avez 2 girafes. Le gouvernement exige que vous leur donniez des leçons d'harmonica.
CAPITALISME
EUROPEEN
Vous avez 2 vaches.
On vous subventionne la 1ère année pour acheter une 3ème vache.
On fixe des quotas la 2ème année et vous payez une amende pour surproduction.
On vous donne une prime la 3ème année pour abattre la 3ème vache.
MONARCHIE
CONSTITU-
TIONNELLE
BRITANNIQUE
Vous avez 2 vaches.
Vous tuez une des vaches pour la donner à manger à l'autre.
La vache vivante devient folle.
L'Europe vous subventionne pour l'abattre.
Vous la donnez à manger à vos 2 moutons.
CAPITALISME
A LA
FRANÇAISE
Vous avez 2 vaches.
Pour financer la retraite de vos 2 vaches, le gouvernement décide de lever un nouvel impôt :
la CSSANAB (cotisation sociale de solidarité avec nos amis les bêtes).
2 ans après, comme la France a récupéré une partie du cheptel britannique, le système est déficitaire.
Pour financer le déficit on lève un nouvel impôt sur la production du lait: le RAB (Remboursement de l'Ardoise Bovine).
Les vaches se mettent en grève. Il n'y a plus de lait.
Les français sont dans la rue: "DU LAIT ON VEUT DU LAIT".
La France construit un *laitoduc* sous la manche pour s'approvisionner auprès des Anglais.
L'Europe déclare le lait anglais impropre à la consommation.
Le laitoduc ne servira jamais.
On lève un nouvel impôt pour l'entretien du laitoduc.

MEUH ... L'économie, c'est vachement compliqué !!!

What about having 2 cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISMSOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horse
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horseSOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horse




You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horse